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Bitch Details     6/9/2009  
 
 

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ATTENTION CRAIGSLIST "FOR SALE" DOUCHEBAGS  by Norm 6/9/2009 at 11:40

To the Poster: I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but don't put your shit up for sale on the internet and then don't return my goddamn calls inquiring about said shit. Furthermore, don't arrange a meeting where I can inspect your property for imminent purchase only for you to not show up at all or be ridiculously late. I'm the one doing you the favor, you know, buying the shit you stole from your parents so you can get more tweak for you and your crackwhore girlfriend.

If you didn't post a phone number, don't say "send me a text for more information". Do you think we are all clairvoyant or something? And what the hell is up with you and email? Do you seriously check that shit like once every couple of days? Jesus Christ man, log in and check that shit a few times a day like a responsible human being.

It would also be helpul if when you posted you actually included the details about the item you are selling. Believe it or not, the model #, and even the date of manufacture actually do matter to people. Simply putting "32 Inch Plasma TV" doesn't really say a whole lot about it, does it fucktard?

To the Buyer: Don't call me at fucking 7am when I explicitly state I'm available between 9am-12pm. Don't tell me to hold something for you to buy, then disappear off the face of the planet. And if you miss an exchange meeting you'd better be laying up on a cold slab somewhere getting your organs harvested. Don't tell me you are going to call back, then I have to call your ass back and leave a voicemail.

When you send me an email, ask all your stupid questions at once. I don't have the time nor the patience to sit here and go back and forth all day with your dumb ass. And at the end of all your chatty Kathy bullshit you'd better buy the damn thing or I'm going to subscribe your email address to every gay porn site I can find. That's right mother fucker. Huge black cocks in your inbox all day long.

Also, I don't want your "trade" offers. I'm not going to take your whole closet of junk in exchange for my car. What the fuck are you thinking? If you try to lowball me, after I told you the lowest I will go, you are a piece of shit. You know how much it's worth, and you know I'm offering a price lower than even a good deal on eBay, so don't think I'm so desperate I'll sell my shit to you just to get rid of it. And why the fuck do you have the whole "Star Wars" action figure set still anyway? You're 45 years old you balding pathetic fuck.
   

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