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BEACH CRUISER DOUCHE ALERT by Norm	11/16/2009 at 09:49

Let me introduce you to the newest douchebag you are probably starting to see around town. This tool lives nowhere near a major body of water, yet he rides around town on a "beach cruiser" bicycle. Further aggrivating his aura of gay-ness, this bike is probably some fruity color, like purple or pink. Sometimes you will even seen a cute little wicker basket hanging off the front of it. Awwww, how cute! Fucking douche. He rides with his chest stuck out, apparently proud of his polished up $50 bike, as if he thinks everyone must think he is just so cool to be riding it. Yes, very studly to be riding around on a bike that looks like it was just bike-jacked from a 10 year old girl. This bike might have other upgrades as well, like chrome fenders and a nifty banana seat. Now that's a SICK bike! What the fuck happened to just buying a mountain bike for all biking needs? It's versatile, has lots of gears and rugged off-road tires. Has some sense of manhood still attached to it. If you see this fucktard on the road gently nudge him into a lightpost or other random objects firmly affixed to the ground. Hopefully the blunt-force trauma suffered from the impact, followed by the tires rolling over his bloodified carcass from the car behind you will shake some sense into him.